I’m sure you’d agree that whenever we have an important message to communicate, or we want people to get on board with an idea, we spend time thinking about what we’re going to say.

We think about the key points we want to make, the words we’ll use, the information we need to share, and how to get our message across clearly.

These things, as you well know, do matter. In fact, I’d imagine you were taught the importance of them at school, university, or throughout your career whenever you had to communicate, present or influence others.

What often receives far less attention is how we show up.

In The Connect Effect, I refer to this as your voltage – your mindset, intention and the energy you bring to an interaction.

You can have the perfect words, but if the experience you create doesn’t align with your message, the people you are communicating to will not connect with it.

I bet you’ll have encountered this somewhere along the line. Someone announces an exciting new opportunity, but they sound flat and uninspired. Or someone tells you and others, “I’m open to your feedback,” yet becomes defensive the moment someone offers a different perspective. Or someone reassures you that, “We’ve got this,” while looking anxious and uncertain themselves.

The words and the energy don’t match. And when that happens, the message loses its impact.

As a leader and difference maker, it’s worth remembering that others don’t just listen to what you say. They also take cues from how you say it. Your tone, body language, facial expressions, pace, level of presence and the energy you bring all influence how your message is received.

If you want others, particularly the people you lead to trust you, feel reassured, embrace change, or get on board with an idea, your words and your energy need to tell the same story.

This isn’t just common sense. Decades of research by communication scholar Judee K. Burgoon has shown that non-verbal cues, such as your facial expressions, tone of voice, posture and movement, play a significant role in how others judge your credibility and persuasiveness. When what you say doesn’t align with how you communicate, your people are less likely to trust or be influenced by your message.

So how do you show up with greater intention and bring an energy that complements your message?

1. Get clear on the outcome you want. Before you think about what you’re going to say, ask yourself: What do I want people to feel, think or do as a result of this conversation? Your answer should shape not only your message, but how you deliver it.
2. Choose your intention. Ask yourself, Who could I be in this conversation? Curious? Calm? Confident? Encouraging? Reassuring? Challenging? Your intention influences the energy you bring and the experience others have. Choose your intention before you choose your words.
3. Pause before you walk into the room or jump on a Video Screen. Rather than carrying the stress of your last meeting or the pressure of your day into the next conversation, take a moment to reset. A deep breath, a clear intention and a few seconds of focus can make a remarkable difference to how you show up.

As poet and civil rights activist Maya Angelou famously said:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

As always, I trust this has got you thinking and has been helpful in some way, shape or form.

Until next week, be well and lead well.

Kylie