We all know that you can’t lead well if you can’t connect.

Last week I caught up with my friend and former colleague, Heike – A smart and emotionally intelligent woman who is always curious about people, places and how things work.

She is an exceptional influencer and an out of the box thinker and I reckon she is good at this because she is always inquisitive.

I also think she’s a great connector because she asks thoughtful questions – you know those ones that really get you thinking and feeling? The ones that go way beyond the surface. The ones that sometimes challenge you to think a bit deeper about ideas, reasoning, and problems — and also about your feelings, values, beliefs, and emotions.

And whilst sometimes uncomfortable or even a bit disconcerting, thoughtful questions help you understand problems, find solutions, and gain new perspectives.

But I also think there’s another thing they deliver – a message that you’re important, smart, and competent. That your thoughts, feelings, and experiences matter.

It’s not surprising, that researchers at the University of Utah and the University of Pennsylvania found that people who are curious are more likeable, influential, trustworthy, and better at connecting with others.

It’s also not surprising that every time I walk away from a conversation with Heike, I feel lighter, clearer, and inspired. Over the years, she’s become someone I regularly seek out for advice, not because she gives it readily, but because she listens and asks the kind of questions that make me think and feel differently.

So, this week, I am wondering how curious are you about the people you lead?

Do you ask questions that uncover what matters to them, or just what needs to get done?

Are your questions inspiring them to think deeply, take initiative and become clearer.

Connection is rarely built through answers. It’s built through curiosity.

Until next week, be well and lead well!

Kylie