When Craig saw an opportunity to set the wheels in motion for Marcus, one of his Team Leaders, to get a promotion, he was excited. He’d been building the case with senior leadership for weeks. When he finally shared the news with Marcus in their one-on-one, he expected enthusiasm.

Instead, Marcus nodded politely, said, “Thanks for thinking of me,” and admitted it wasn’t something he was really interested in.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened.

A few weeks earlier, Craig had offered his area accountant, Jen, the opportunity to present the regional results at the quarterly leadership meeting. It would give her visibility with senior management.

She thanked him but seemed more anxious than excited.

Craig couldn’t understand it. These were exactly the kinds of opportunities he would have jumped at when he was in their position.

Frustrated, he vented during a leadership development program.

“I’m handing them golden opportunities and they’re acting like I’m doing them a favour they didn’t ask for.”

Sarah, one of the participants, asked him a simple question.

“Do you know what they want? Have you asked them what’s important to them?”

Craig paused.

The answer was no.

In that moment, he realised he’d been leading based on what mattered to him, not what mattered to the people he led.

I wonder whether you’ve ever caught yourself doing what Craig did.

I know I have.

Most leaders, you, me and the leaders around us genuinely care about our team members. We want to help them succeed, support them and create opportunities for them. Yet sometimes we assume we know them better than we actually do, and we end up leading from our own experiences, preferences and assumptions instead of theirs.

Since writing The Connect Effect, I’ve developed The Connect Effect Assessment to help leaders reflect on exactly that. It’s built around my Know Them/Show Them/Grow Them framework and is designed to help you better understand how you’re showing up as a leader.

As you work through the assessment, you’ll reflect on three key areas:

1. Know Them – Are you leading the person in front of you, or the person you think they are?
2. Show Them – Are your people feeling understood, supported and clear about what’s expected?
3. Grow Them – Are you creating opportunities that match what your people actually need to thrive?

If you’re keen to take The Connect Effect Assessment, simply click this link(opens in new tab)

And if you’re not (although I’m secretly hoping you are!), I trust Craig’s story, an excerpt from The Connect Effect, has still given you something to think about.

Until next week, be well and lead well,

Kylie