I’m sure you’d agree that small talk is one of those things people either love or avoid. And whether we dive into it—or dodge it—often comes down to our personality, energy levels, and the time we feel we do (or don’t) have to participate in it.

As someone who doesn’t mind small talk, I’ll admit there are definitely days I don’t feel like it. You know the ones? When you’re pushed for time and just want to get straight into things — or you’re tired and can’t be bothered with someone’s view on the weather or their cat.

But what research shows is that if we dismiss small talk altogether, especially in remote or hybrid teams—there can be real consequences: to our relationships, to the connections between the people we lead, and ultimately to our own effectiveness as a leader.

Studies conducted in the areas of organisational behaviour and workplace culture at Harvard Business School and MIT reveal that a lack of small talk is a big contributor to:

• Lower trust
• Reduced psychological safety
• Weaker team bonds
• Missed opportunities for insight
• Higher disengagement

And with hybrid work still being a thing in most organisations and small talk on the decline with younger generations – yep, you heard that right – we might need to pay it a bit more attention.

Small talk might feel like a ‘nice to have,’ or something that doesn’t really need much of your attention. But right now, I think it matters more than ever — because hybrid and remote work have quietly taken away those corridor chats and coffee-break moments that used to connect us without us even thinking about it. And when it comes to younger generations, there’s another shift happening — many are arriving at work with less of a small talk habit. Not because they don’t want to connect, but because so much of the way they’ve connected has been through a screen.

I’m sure you’ve seen the same thing. Drive past a bus stop and you’ll see teenagers who once would have been chatting about school, music, or the weekend ahead are now silently scrolling. And it’s not just teenagers—it’s adults too. Travel on a plane and you’ll notice most people go straight to their devices without even saying hello to the person next to them.

I see it when I run workshops—people come in, sit down, and go straight to their phones or laptops. I see it when I observe leaders I coach facilitating meetings—straight into the agenda, no space for a simple “how are you?”

And this all comes at a cost: trust takes longer to build, team bonds stay on the surface, and we as leaders might be missing those fleeting but powerful chances to really see our people.

So what might you do to encourage some small talk?

In meetings:

Here are a few ideas I’ve been floating around — and a couple suggested by leaders I’ve worked with:

1. Ban laptops and phones in Meetings. Even a short “no devices” rule at the start creates space for people to look up, greet each other, and naturally chat before the agenda starts.
2. Arrive early (and stay a few minutes after). Leaders who intentionally show up a few minutes before a meeting — and linger for a couple of minutes after — create those casual “doorway chats” that set a lighter tone.
3. Build in a buffer. Schedule meetings for 55 instead of 60 minutes, or 25 instead of 30, and use the first five minutes for human connection before diving into the work.
4. Start with a shared moment. Bring in something small but real — a news headline, a “did you see this?” photo, even a story from your morning commute — to spark a natural chat that isn’t forced.

In one-on-ones:

Model small talk yourself. If you jump straight into numbers, deadlines, and updates, that’s the tone you set. Instead, ask questions that aren’t purely transactional — but rather invite reflection or a personal share, like “What’s been a highlight of your week?” or “What’s been taking up most of your headspace?”

So if small talk hasn’t been your thing, or you haven’t been into it lately, hopefully this week’s blog has got you thinking.

If it is your thing, keep doing it because it’s a great way to connect, build trust, spark engagement, and strengthen relationships.

Until next week, be well and lead well.

Kylie