Have you ever received an email that put you a little offside? Made you feel like you were just another urgent task on someone’s to-do list?

Last week I received an email from our accounting firm. Here’s a snippet:

Dear Kylie,

It is imperative that you have the correct documentation in place to meet your Fringe Benefits Tax (FBT) obligations for the 2026 FBT year.

Accordingly, we enclose an FBT survey for you to complete and return it to this email address.

Additionally, we enclose any declarations for completion and signing to enable us to complete your FBT return.

Please have the survey and declarations returned to us as soon as possible

If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Kind Regards

John Doe

Now it’s certainly not the rudest email I’ve ever received – It had a sign off, a please thrown in there, no CAPITAL LETTERS aggressively pointing out what I have to do and no “previously advised” energy. But it did feel cold and transactional, like I was a compliance item to be checked off rather than a valued client, who has spent years dealing with this firm and who has also spent a considerable amount of money.

And with phrases like “Imperative and accordingly”  I felt like I was on notice, like I had done something potentially wrong, missed an important deadline when I hadn’t.

And all this? Well, it put me offside.

We’ve all done it

Now most of us have been guilty of doing this in some way, particularly when we’re busy and under pressure. We fire off an email without stopping to think about the person on the other end. I know I have.

And if we are not careful it can cost us. If we consistently or even occasionally send cold, impersonal messages to our team members, colleagues and other key stakeholders, it will damage the relationship we have. If not immediately certainly over time.

I am sure you would agree that very few humans want to feel like a number, task or deadline. We want to feel like we matter, that we are considered, and thought of. While not all of us care about the “niceties” most of us want a touch of warmth and at least thoughtfulness for who we are and what we might have going on in our world.

Trust, loyalty and relationships slowly erode when consideration is lacking and communication is poor. Ask anyone who has studied human behaviour and relationships, and they will tell you this.

This week’s experience has certainly been a good reminder for me, and hopefully for you, that prioritising relationships is foundational in leadership and how we communicate matters just as much as what we communicate.

Until next week, be well and lead well

Kylie