A Few weeks ago, I was sitting in my car waiting to see a client, and noticed a bottle shop right next door. For whatever reason, it took me straight back to the year I decided to give up drinking, and how uncomfortable other people got when I would say no to a beverage or two.

Not all, but many of my friends, family, and colleagues would challenge me to rethink my decision:

“Seriously, you don’t need to give up, you don’t drink that much. One glass won’t hurt you.”

I even had a colleague who’d pour me a glass of wine when we were out for dinner and sit it in front of me, hoping I would cave.

What I learnt during that year, and has continually been validated, is that when your choices create tension for others, they’ll often challenge you and try to pull you back into what feels familiar for them.

I’m sure, as a leader or someone who influences others, you’ve experienced your own version of this.

Maybe you’ve introduced a new way of working – a fresh rhythm, a clearer process, a better communication flow – and a few people suddenly felt unsettled because change forces them to adjust.

Or maybe you’ve raised the standard… tightened up meetings, improved follow-through, become clearer with expectations… and found yourself on the receiving end of eye rolls, jokes, or subtle resistance because it disrupted the pattern, they’d grown comfortable with.

Or perhaps you’ve put in a boundary – said no to something you used to say yes to, stopped rescuing, stopped absorbing last-minute chaos – and noticed that the very people who benefited from the old pattern pushed back because the new one asked more of them.

But if you give in to that awkwardness, if you water down your decision or step back to make others feel comfortable, you’ll stall your own growth and theirs.

You’ll delay the improvements you know are needed.

And you’ll unintentionally teach people that a little tension is all it takes for you to abandon a change that matters.

So how do you lead through these moments instead of backing away from them?

1. Hold your ground.

Not stubbornly. Not aggressively. But with the clarity of someone who knows why they made the call. Your firmness gives others something to anchor to.

2. Stay the course.

Change often feels messy before it feels meaningful. If you backflip too early, you teach people that persistence doesn’t matter, and that discomfort is a stop sign instead of a signal.

3. Back yourself.

You don’t have to have all the answers. But you do need to trust your intent, your thinking, and the direction you’re taking people. Confidence is contagious, even the quiet kind.

4. Name what’s happening.

Sometimes simply saying, “I can see this feels different, and I get that. Let’s talk it through,” helps take the sting out of the shift. Leaders who can acknowledge tension without absorbing it help everyone move forward faster.

5. Remember what that ‘edge’ really means.

The edge you’re feeling isn’t failure. It’s not a sign to stop. It’s usually the signal that you’re nudging something important – for you and for the people you lead. Every meaningful standard you set…Every expectation you reset…Every old habit you interrupt…starts with someone feeling a little uncomfortable – Including you.

So I’m wondering:

• Where do you need to hold your ground right now?
• And what will be the upside if you do?

Until next, be well and lead well

Kylie