Last week, during an interview about The Connect Effect, the host asked me a question – What if connection just doesn’t come easily to you? What if you’re a leader who is task focused, guarded, or just wired differently? How do you work through that?

It’s a question I get asked a lot, well at least a similar version of it. In fact, whenever we’re challenged to think about doing something differently, we often go straight to questions like these. What if that’s not me? What if I’m not naturally like that? What if it doesn’t feel authentic?

There’s a reason we do this. It’s called status quo bias – the tendency our brain has to preserve what feels familiar. When we’re asked to behave in ways that don’t align with how we see ourselves, we resist.

What I’ve come to learn is that most of the time, what we’re actually resisting isn’t change. It’s just discomfort. What feels like a fixed way of being is often just a default we’ve never thought to question. A preference, if you like. A natural way of doing things that has become so familiar we’ve started to mistake it for who we are and how we operate.

But preferences aren’t fixed. Take your writing hand for example. Perhaps you’re right handed, and you default to it without thinking because it’s comfortable, it’s familiar, it’s just what you automatically use. But if you had to, you could write with your non-dominant hand. It might feel awkward at first, and it might take some practice, but you could do it.

And I’m sure you’d agree this is an important concept to consider. Because as a leader, or someone in a position of influence, there will be moments, in relationships, decision making, problem solving, and communication, where you’ll need to adapt and try something that doesn’t come easily to you – pick up the pen and write with your non-dominant hand.

So how do you become more adaptable?

1. Know your dominant hand. Understand the ways you naturally like to communicate, make decisions, solve problems, build relationships, and lead.
2. Notice where your natural tendencies are helping or hindering. Every preference brings strengths, but every preference also has limitations.
3. Practise with the other hand. When the situation calls for it, stretch beyond your comfort zone and try a different approach.

You certainly don’t need to undertake a personality change, but being more adaptable will go a long way.

As always, I trust this has got you thinking and has been helpful in some way, shape or form.

Until next week, be well and lead well.

Kylie

PS – The Connect Effect hit the #1Best Seller on Amazon last week, so if you have purchased a copy – Thank you!

If you haven’t and would like to get a copy for yourself or for leaders in your organisation or team, here is the link(opens in new tab)