We all have those moments, when our Self Confidence isn’t where we’d like it to be.

I was talking with a friend last week who was feeling a bit out of sorts.

She’s working with a new business coach who has been encouraging her to try some different approaches to winning new business. There was nothing necessarily wrong with the advice. The problem was, none of it felt like her.

It didn’t fit her values, her strengths or the way she wanted to do business. And it had started to rattle her confidence.

It got me thinking about how easily that can happen to any of us.

If you’re in leadership or a position of influence, it’s likely you’ll have doubted yourself at some stage.

Perhaps it was because you were new to a role, a team or a relationship, or you received feedback that was jarring or a bit too critical. Maybe it was the result of being in an environment that was unclear, uncertain and confusing. Or perhaps it was simply because your expertise wasn’t as helpful as it normally is in a new situation.

Whatever the context, I imagine it rattled your confidence levels in some way.

In fact, research published in the International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring found that senior leaders’ confidence was particularly challenged when they were operating outside their comfort zone, navigating unknown territory, lacked clarity or feedback, or felt they weren’t having the impact they expected.

So, what do you do when you’ve lost your bearings and been thrown off your game?

Here are three things I encourage leaders and difference makers to do, and of course use myself (got to make sure I’m walking my talk).

1. Take action and build the evidence

Confidence grows through doing, and each experience gives you more evidence of what you’re capable of.

2. Come back to yourself

When doubt starts getting loud, reconnect with your strengths, your values, your purpose and what you know about yourself.

Come back to your compass, and to what Amy Cuddy calls your authentic best self in her book Presence.

Sometimes, as my friend found this week, what someone else thinks you should do might not fit who you are. That doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with you or with their advice. It might just mean you need to come back to yourself and work out what fits for you.

3. Surround yourself with the right people

Find your lighthouses.

The people who help you find your bearings when you’ve lost them, remind you of what they see in you, encourage you, challenge you and give you honest feedback.

Something to Ponder this week

Here are two questions to ask yourself or the people you lead or hope to help:

1. What is one thing that continually throws me off my game, and what would I specifically like instead?
2. Of these three practical actions, which one might serve me best, and how will I turn this insight into action?

As always, I trust this has got you thinking and has been helpful in some way, shape or form.

Until next week, be well and lead well.

Kylie

Kylie Paatsch | Senior Leadership Speaker, Facilitator & Executive Coach | Author of THE CONNECT EFFECT

I help senior leaders get the people side of leadership right: leading themselves, leading their teams and navigating the relationships that make or break impact and performance.

Keynotes, workshops, masterclasses and 1:1 coaching.