I want you to imagine for a moment that it’s a Monday morning. You’re two coffees, teas or waters in, and you receive an email from a peer in the business about a situation that one of your team members should have dealt with.

Frustrated and annoyed, you pull the team member aside and try to work out what happened. But instead of taking ownership, they avoid answering directly. There’s a vague explanation, maybe even some deflection — and certainly no sign of responsibility.

If this situation feels familiar, I want you to know you’re not alone. As a coach and facilitator, I hear this kind of scenario shared with me regularly at all levels of leadership — and I’ve experienced it myself. Like you, and many of the leaders I work with, it used to drive me nuts!

That was until I started to understand that this behaviour often has reasons behind it — not just people making excuses or dodging work, but responses shaped by past experiences, fear, and sometimes even the way we show up and communicate as leaders.

And this week I wanted to share what some of them are — The top 5 reasons why your people might not be taking responsibility:

1 – They’re not used to it. They may have never had a leader who expected it from them — who encouraged them to own their part or held them to account.

2 – It feels exposing. For most of us, taking responsibility means admitting mistakes, flaws, or missteps. That can feel really uncomfortable — especially if we’re driven by fear or worried about not being seen as good enough.

3 – Change takes effort. Taking responsibility often means we need to change something — and let’s be honest, some people just don’t want to put in the time or energy to do the work.

4 – They don’t feel safe. If people don’t feel safe being honest — with you or with others in the team — they’re far less likely to own up.

5 – It’s a reaction to how you communicate. If your tone sounds blaming or accusatory — like, “Why didn’t you do what I asked you to?” — people will often get defensive or shut down instead of stepping up.

Now, you can’t control these reasons or how others respond to being held accountable — BUT you can influence it.

So what are some things you can do to create an environment where people are more likely to take responsibility?

Start by going first. Model it. Own your mistakes. Be open about what you’ve learned and what you’re still working on. When your team sees you taking responsibility without shame or blame, it gives them permission to do the same.

Be mindful of your tone and the type of question you ask. The way you ask a question can either open a door or shut one. Instead of saying, “Why didn’t you do what I asked?” — which can feel accusatory — try, “What got in the way?” or “What support would’ve made that easier?” These kinds of questions invite honesty, not defence.

And don’t underestimate the power of the small moments. Thank people when they’re honest, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect. Acknowledge when someone takes ownership, even if it’s awkward. These micro-moments build safety — and safety builds accountability.

When responsibility becomes the norm, not the exception — in your team and with your team members — things get easier for you. You spend less time chasing, cleaning up, or stepping in to solve things that shouldn’t be on your plate. You have better conversations. Your team becomes more honest, more proactive, and more invested. And you get to lead the way you want to lead — with more trust, less noise, and a bit more space to breathe.

Plus, you develop your team members and leaders— not by doing the work for them, but by creating the kind of environment where they grow through it, which I’m sure you’d agree is a win/win for everyone.

I trust this has been helpful in some way, shape or form.

Until next week, be well and lead well,

Kylie