Last week I tried something different—or different for me at least—I joined a choir. I’ve always loved singing and thought, why not give it a go? I figured it would be a fun way to meet new people and step outside my comfort zone.

Now, I have no idea if I can actually sing. I’ve never had professional lessons, didn’t really do much of it at school, and after a couple of run-throughs, I had a moment—or rather, my inner critic did—strongly suggesting that I might be tone deaf and about to make a complete fool of myself.

As good fortune—or perfect timing—would have it, the conductor paused and said:

“I want you to remember, we’re not here to be perfect or to get it perfect. We’re here to connect—with the music, with each other, and with our voices. Let’s remember: connection over perfection.”

After she said that, people relaxed. You could feel the energy in the room shift, and the next run-through had a completely different feel—more confidence, more joy, more ease.

And it made me think: as well as ourselves, isn’t this exactly what teams need too—the concept of connection over perfection?

In my few decades of leading and also working with leaders and teams to come together, I’ve seen perfection—or the individual pursuit of it—hold teams back from achieving great things. As Brené Brown shares in Dare to Lead, perfectionism isn’t about healthy striving; it’s about avoiding shame and judgment. It’s self-protection dressed up as high standards.

Perfection shows up as second-guessing, playing it safe, filtering ideas, hiding mistakes, and focusing more on looking good than being real. It creates a culture where people protect themselves rather than trust each other.

But when teams prioritise connection—when they create space for openness, honesty, and a bit of messiness—something shifts. People show up more fully. They collaborate more deeply. And they’re far more likely to create something remarkable together.

If you’re wondering how to lean into connection over perfection, here are five small but powerful ways I’ve seen leaders bring it to life:

1. Share the slip-ups. When you talk about the mistakes you’ve made or what you’re still figuring out, you give others permission to do the same.
2. Ask for input before it’s polished. Invite ideas early—even when they’re messy or half-formed. That’s where collaboration really starts.
3. Celebrate progress, not just outcomes. Acknowledge the effort, the learning, and the courage it takes to try something new.
4. Listen with your full attention. People feel more connected when they know they’ve been heard—not just nodded at.
5. Model being real, not right. Say “I don’t know” when you don’t. Admit when something’s hard. That’s leadership people trust.

So, here are a few questions I’ve been sitting with since choir—questions I’ve asked a few of the leaders and groups I’ve worked with over the past week, and ones I thought might be helpful for you too:

• What might shift in your team if the goal wasn’t perfection, but connection?
• What’s one thing you could do this week to encourage connection over perfection?
• Where might you be holding yourself to a standard that’s getting in the way of connection?

I trust this has got you thinking and has been helpful in some way, shape or form.

Until next week, be well and lead well!

Kylie